So I'm vowing to bring this blog back from the dead because I owe it to you --- no, I owe it to humanity -- to share my wit and wisdom. Now, to share some wit and wisdom.....first, gotta squash an ant....ok, here it comes....wit and wisdom....a little wit....a little wisdom... Dang, I'm coming up empty....
Oh, here's one for ya. Lift up your foot and twirl it in a circle. Now lift up your arm and draw a number 6. Your foot will start to twirl in the same direction as the 6! Freaky, huh? A little wit...a little wisdom....
My job here in done.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Letter to the Tooth Fairy
Here is M's letter to the tooth fairy:
Dear tooth fairy (picture of flower)
You know me M----- thank you for the 2 dollers anyway I have a lose tooth that is olmest going to fall out I am decideing if I will give my tooth to you I think I am going to give it to you. you know you are a rely nice tooth fariy and I think if I saw you you would look pretty and you aways love people I think you are working relley hard building your tooth caslte anyway thank you for comeing to my house and I am relly sory my sis is not giveing you any of her teeth thank you for eveything Love, M-----
Dear tooth fairy (picture of flower)
You know me M----- thank you for the 2 dollers anyway I have a lose tooth that is olmest going to fall out I am decideing if I will give my tooth to you I think I am going to give it to you. you know you are a rely nice tooth fariy and I think if I saw you you would look pretty and you aways love people I think you are working relley hard building your tooth caslte anyway thank you for comeing to my house and I am relly sory my sis is not giveing you any of her teeth thank you for eveything Love, M-----
Monday, December 22, 2008
Beauty
Scene: Me, putting on mascara.
M(6): Mom, you look beautiful.
Me: Wow, thanks.
M(6): Like kinda Halloween-ish.
Good grief. Maybe it's the new eyelash curler...
M(6): Mom, you look beautiful.
Me: Wow, thanks.
M(6): Like kinda Halloween-ish.
Good grief. Maybe it's the new eyelash curler...
Friday, December 19, 2008
Obscene Defined
December 18. Target. New items spotted in Girls' Clothing.
VALENTINES' DAY CLOTHES.
Now, that's just plain wrong.
And obscene.
VALENTINES' DAY CLOTHES.
Now, that's just plain wrong.
And obscene.
Me so freaky
Scene: Walking out of Sam's Club, with Z (4) holding the receipt on which has been drawn an odd-looking googly-eyed smiley face
Z: This is strange.
Me: Looks kind of freaky, huh?
Z: Yeah, it's not me. It's you.
Z: This is strange.
Me: Looks kind of freaky, huh?
Z: Yeah, it's not me. It's you.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Black Friday Recap
Up at 3. Showered. Hot chocolate machine is busted so just hit the road at 3:25. Did 90 mph on the 405 freeway because it was my private driveway and I could. Boston Pops (Arthur Fieldler) playing "Sleigh Ride" on 103.5 woke me up. Then they played Aiken's "O Holy Night" and messed with my groove.
Arrived at Kohl's. 4 years ago there were 4 of us at the doors. There were hundreds -- hundreds -- of people there, including a very pregnant woman in front of me in a wheelchair so she wouldn't go into labor. Hello??? Got 2 things, checked out and bailed fast. People were buying such random stuff...why buy slippers that are on sale until 1 p.m. at 4 a.m.? I don't get it.
Went to WalMart next. Twice as many people in line as last year. Very organized and efficient. No rushing, grabbing or pushing but A LOT of people -- too many. Just bought basics that were a steal (pjs, jeans for kids, sweatshirts) and left.
Hot chocolate and a donut. A big hot chocolate. Big donut too. Good times.
Home Depot: 99 cent poinsettias that are big and gorgeous. No crowds, no rush. But everyone there was buying flatfulls of poinsettias. Smart people.
Target: Again, twice the people in line. Met some nice gals and chatted with them for 45 minutes. Plenty of stock. Very organized. Bought -- well, can't remember what I bought. Must have been important.
The rest of the morning: Walgreens for 2fer webkinz, back to Kohls to get some clothes, Disney Store to do some shopping for my sister.
Returned home with a full car and a smokin' wallet. Another successful -- but crazy crowded -- year.
Arrived at Kohl's. 4 years ago there were 4 of us at the doors. There were hundreds -- hundreds -- of people there, including a very pregnant woman in front of me in a wheelchair so she wouldn't go into labor. Hello??? Got 2 things, checked out and bailed fast. People were buying such random stuff...why buy slippers that are on sale until 1 p.m. at 4 a.m.? I don't get it.
Went to WalMart next. Twice as many people in line as last year. Very organized and efficient. No rushing, grabbing or pushing but A LOT of people -- too many. Just bought basics that were a steal (pjs, jeans for kids, sweatshirts) and left.
Hot chocolate and a donut. A big hot chocolate. Big donut too. Good times.
Home Depot: 99 cent poinsettias that are big and gorgeous. No crowds, no rush. But everyone there was buying flatfulls of poinsettias. Smart people.
Target: Again, twice the people in line. Met some nice gals and chatted with them for 45 minutes. Plenty of stock. Very organized. Bought -- well, can't remember what I bought. Must have been important.
The rest of the morning: Walgreens for 2fer webkinz, back to Kohls to get some clothes, Disney Store to do some shopping for my sister.
Returned home with a full car and a smokin' wallet. Another successful -- but crazy crowded -- year.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Black Friday Mania
Because you asked, I hereby deliver my few tips and tricks for Black Friday. I know I am regarded by some as absolutely crazy. Maybe so…but crazy ain’t boring. So here goes.
1. You can search the ads now on numerous websites. I like to start on fatwallet.com. There is a Black Friday forum and you can link to adscans on several Black Friday sites. But don’t preplan too much from the websites. Half the fun is formulating a plan on Thanksgiving Day.
2. On Wednesday, make calls to confirm stores will price match. Later in the day, call again to confirm, just to make sure the first person wasn't nuts. Get names.
3. On Thursday, call your credit card company to tell them you will be making purchases the next morning before dawn. I learned this the hard way – getting pulled aside at 5 a.m. to call my card company at customer service to verify security information then forgetting the name of my pet goldfish 5 years prior…and having to wake up my husband to ask the name of said goldfish. Dorothy. Oh yeah.
4. If you’re price matching, have your ads well organized and make sure you got the exact item in the ad to be matched. Organization will also reduce the risk of the person behind you in line to check-out bashing into your ankle.
5. If you can, get secret Santa assignments now. Your budget can go a long way for a needy person when you’re shopping on BF.
6. Keep in mind upcoming family birthdays and other incidentals. After BF, I’m usually done birthday shopping for nieces and nephews for the first half of the next year.
7. Sometimes, you can get BF early-bird/door-buster sales on-line starting at midnight. We did this last year at Circuit City, buying 2 flat screens online while people were standing in line in the cold in front of the store. Later in the day, I just waltzed (as opposed to a glide) in the store, watched their eyes pop out of their heads when I asked for the sale price, and took the last two flat screens that were laid aside for me in the warehouse. I did have to do quite a bit of convincing, but a thorough read of the ad supported that this was a legit thing to do.
8. If you’re doing BF in Utah, pray. I hear those people are stark-raving lunatics.
9. I don’t do Best Buy or Fry’s. Crazy people there too.
10. Remember to be patient and kind. Always say “Excuse me” when you run over someone’s foot with your cart.
I’ll post where I’m going on T-Day. Let me know if you’d like to come along.
1. You can search the ads now on numerous websites. I like to start on fatwallet.com. There is a Black Friday forum and you can link to adscans on several Black Friday sites. But don’t preplan too much from the websites. Half the fun is formulating a plan on Thanksgiving Day.
2. On Wednesday, make calls to confirm stores will price match. Later in the day, call again to confirm, just to make sure the first person wasn't nuts. Get names.
3. On Thursday, call your credit card company to tell them you will be making purchases the next morning before dawn. I learned this the hard way – getting pulled aside at 5 a.m. to call my card company at customer service to verify security information then forgetting the name of my pet goldfish 5 years prior…and having to wake up my husband to ask the name of said goldfish. Dorothy. Oh yeah.
4. If you’re price matching, have your ads well organized and make sure you got the exact item in the ad to be matched. Organization will also reduce the risk of the person behind you in line to check-out bashing into your ankle.
5. If you can, get secret Santa assignments now. Your budget can go a long way for a needy person when you’re shopping on BF.
6. Keep in mind upcoming family birthdays and other incidentals. After BF, I’m usually done birthday shopping for nieces and nephews for the first half of the next year.
7. Sometimes, you can get BF early-bird/door-buster sales on-line starting at midnight. We did this last year at Circuit City, buying 2 flat screens online while people were standing in line in the cold in front of the store. Later in the day, I just waltzed (as opposed to a glide) in the store, watched their eyes pop out of their heads when I asked for the sale price, and took the last two flat screens that were laid aside for me in the warehouse. I did have to do quite a bit of convincing, but a thorough read of the ad supported that this was a legit thing to do.
8. If you’re doing BF in Utah, pray. I hear those people are stark-raving lunatics.
9. I don’t do Best Buy or Fry’s. Crazy people there too.
10. Remember to be patient and kind. Always say “Excuse me” when you run over someone’s foot with your cart.
I’ll post where I’m going on T-Day. Let me know if you’d like to come along.
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