Z speaks Spanish

Scene: Grocery store. 4 year old wants gummy bears.
Z: Mom, can I have gummy bears?
S: Maybe a couple.
Z: Did you know that "a couple" means "a lot" in Spanish?

It's Been Awhile

So I'm vowing to bring this blog back from the dead because I owe it to you --- no, I owe it to humanity -- to share my wit and wisdom. Now, to share some wit and wisdom.....first, gotta squash an ant....ok, here it comes....wit and wisdom....a little wit....a little wisdom... Dang, I'm coming up empty....

Oh, here's one for ya. Lift up your foot and twirl it in a circle. Now lift up your arm and draw a number 6. Your foot will start to twirl in the same direction as the 6! Freaky, huh? A little wit...a little wisdom....

My job here in done.

Letter to the Tooth Fairy

Here is M's letter to the tooth fairy:

Dear tooth fairy (picture of flower)

You know me M----- thank you for the 2 dollers anyway I have a lose tooth that is olmest going to fall out I am decideing if I will give my tooth to you I think I am going to give it to you. you know you are a rely nice tooth fariy and I think if I saw you you would look pretty and you aways love people I think you are working relley hard building your tooth caslte anyway thank you for comeing to my house and I am relly sory my sis is not giveing you any of her teeth thank you for eveything Love, M-----

Beauty

Scene: Me, putting on mascara.
M(6): Mom, you look beautiful.
Me: Wow, thanks.
M(6): Like kinda Halloween-ish.

Good grief. Maybe it's the new eyelash curler...

Obscene Defined

December 18. Target. New items spotted in Girls' Clothing.

VALENTINES' DAY CLOTHES.

Now, that's just plain wrong.

And obscene.

Me so freaky

Scene: Walking out of Sam's Club, with Z (4) holding the receipt on which has been drawn an odd-looking googly-eyed smiley face
Z: This is strange.
Me: Looks kind of freaky, huh?
Z: Yeah, it's not me. It's you.

Black Friday Recap

Up at 3. Showered. Hot chocolate machine is busted so just hit the road at 3:25. Did 90 mph on the 405 freeway because it was my private driveway and I could. Boston Pops (Arthur Fieldler) playing "Sleigh Ride" on 103.5 woke me up. Then they played Aiken's "O Holy Night" and messed with my groove.

Arrived at Kohl's. 4 years ago there were 4 of us at the doors. There were hundreds -- hundreds -- of people there, including a very pregnant woman in front of me in a wheelchair so she wouldn't go into labor. Hello??? Got 2 things, checked out and bailed fast. People were buying such random stuff...why buy slippers that are on sale until 1 p.m. at 4 a.m.? I don't get it.

Went to WalMart next. Twice as many people in line as last year. Very organized and efficient. No rushing, grabbing or pushing but A LOT of people -- too many. Just bought basics that were a steal (pjs, jeans for kids, sweatshirts) and left.

Hot chocolate and a donut. A big hot chocolate. Big donut too. Good times.

Home Depot: 99 cent poinsettias that are big and gorgeous. No crowds, no rush. But everyone there was buying flatfulls of poinsettias. Smart people.

Target: Again, twice the people in line. Met some nice gals and chatted with them for 45 minutes. Plenty of stock. Very organized. Bought -- well, can't remember what I bought. Must have been important.

The rest of the morning: Walgreens for 2fer webkinz, back to Kohls to get some clothes, Disney Store to do some shopping for my sister.

Returned home with a full car and a smokin' wallet. Another successful -- but crazy crowded -- year.